end of year lists

what can be more fun than end of year lists. i have a couple favorites that i like to read.

sports illustrated sports man of the year nominations:

- sf giants

- rafa nadal

some top book ideas for the year:

- christianity today

- relevant magazine

music lists:

- pitchfork top 50

- stereogum top 50

- spin top 40

2010 by google

The National

cant get enough of these guys. best show of the year so far.

beach house

local natives

neruda

"i have often maintained that the best poet is...the baker who does majestic and unpretentious work of kneading the dough, consigning it to the oven, baking it in golden colours and handing us our daily bread as a duty of fellowship." - pablo neruda (via sojourners)

frederick buechner

"in the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history, there has never been another day just like today, and there will never be another one just like it again. today is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. it is the point from which all your tomorrows will proceed until the hour of your death. if you were aware of how precious today is, you could hardly live through it. unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all."

what if?

i had a challenging conversation last week with a good friend. what if i stopped believing in god? or maybe not god, but what if i decided that i didnt believe in the christian church/message anymore? it was the thought that if this happened, how would my life change? would my values and ideals change? would my lifestyle change?

the strangest thing was that in most cases it was no. things wouldnt changed that much. i was uneasily bothered by this. why would this not drastically alter my paradigm? i found this to be one of the most convicting thought processes. if my life wouldn't change that much, then how has the gospel changed my life right now? it's an odd thought. i felt a lack of direction. lack of guidance. where is my urgency? where is my hope in god's kingdom coming? but i couldn't help but wonder, what if?

(disclaimer's note: im not abandoning faith. i still absolutely believe in the story of the gospel and god's kingdom on this earth. i just took the conversation as convicting of my finite faith that continues to fail and my need for a bigger imagination.)