neruda

"i have often maintained that the best poet is...the baker who does majestic and unpretentious work of kneading the dough, consigning it to the oven, baking it in golden colours and handing us our daily bread as a duty of fellowship." - pablo neruda (via sojourners)

frederick buechner

"in the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history, there has never been another day just like today, and there will never be another one just like it again. today is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. it is the point from which all your tomorrows will proceed until the hour of your death. if you were aware of how precious today is, you could hardly live through it. unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all."

what if?

i had a challenging conversation last week with a good friend. what if i stopped believing in god? or maybe not god, but what if i decided that i didnt believe in the christian church/message anymore? it was the thought that if this happened, how would my life change? would my values and ideals change? would my lifestyle change?

the strangest thing was that in most cases it was no. things wouldnt changed that much. i was uneasily bothered by this. why would this not drastically alter my paradigm? i found this to be one of the most convicting thought processes. if my life wouldn't change that much, then how has the gospel changed my life right now? it's an odd thought. i felt a lack of direction. lack of guidance. where is my urgency? where is my hope in god's kingdom coming? but i couldn't help but wonder, what if?

(disclaimer's note: im not abandoning faith. i still absolutely believe in the story of the gospel and god's kingdom on this earth. i just took the conversation as convicting of my finite faith that continues to fail and my need for a bigger imagination.)

queenstown

i arrived in queenstown, new zealand today. the flight from auckland to queenstown was impressive. at first, the landscape was pretty bland across the south island. then monstrous peaks rose in the distance. ive never seen mountains like these before. it reminded me of flying over alaska, but i was amazed at the contrast between the flats and the mountains here. the lakes that lay in between the mountains were huge and looked like caribbean waters. the plane descended through fog and into queenstown. queenstown is surrounded by steep, snowcapped peaks and at the bottom, the town sits on a massive lake. i walked around the town today. it is absolutely breath taking.

heading up to the remarkables tomorrow. they were getting lots of snow last week, but it has been slowing down. i guess weather can change really quickly here, so more could be coming, but they never know more than a couple days out. i hope there is some fresh snow coming!

swedish singer

kyle, bo, chad-o and i went and saw the tallest man on earth a couple weeks ago. i love this song.

Tallest Man on Earth - The Gardener - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

seeking an adventure

every now and then i look back at my old posts and i miss the adventures of alaska and argentina. i miss the randomness and uncertainty of not knowing. after a bit over a year at my job, i recently decided that i needed to start thinking about some time off. my cubicle is getting swamped with papers. i dont think i get enough sleep. i have been all over the west coast for weddings and bachelor parties and as wonderful as each one has been, i have yet to wander for a time.

so, i started pondering last wednesday. i thought about a week in august that i would leave corporate life behind. where would i go? the possibilities were truly endless. maybe i should drive across the country. maybe ill backpack into the wilderness. maybe i want to leave the states. canada? mexico. i could spend a week in san francisco. no, that's too normal. well, not that normal, recently, but more of the same. i can fill my calendar with about 10 days with about any place i wanted to go.

soon, i started thinking about out of the country options. spain. that could be cool. maybe not quite what i am looking for. definitely at some point. europe wasnt the destination. i had always dreamed of snowboarding somewhere else in the world. new zealand has always been top of the list. the ultimate destination. probably too far and too expensive. maybe ill go back down to argentina. okay this is sounding like a plan.

i arrived at the office around quarter to seven last thursday and started browsing flights. flights to new zealand were about the same price as to chile and argentina. so i started thinking some more. i mean, not too much more. i sent two emails to brad. i gchatted with my dad.

me: im looking at flights to new zealand

dad: who's going?

me: just me

dad: alone?

me: sure. why not?

dad: i don't buy it

me: im gonna go

dad: well, im not available and i know that disappoints you.

it is amazing how simple it is to click away on the internet and then with that click, in a few weeks, you head off to new zealand. i have no idea where i am staying or who i will meet and i am incredibly excited.

outer space

i think space travel is so cool. something about it gets me. probably why there is an astronaut on my blog. we sent a shuttle into outer space to hook up with the international space station. i was mesmorized watching the liftoff. i watched probably five or so times. sometimes i wish my cubicle could lift off.

twitter

i just embedded my twitter on my blog here. most my thoughts are much less coherent and much less thought out than what usually comes onto this page.

but then, i don't put too much thought into this page. that should change. starting now.

sam beam

it was a cool evening as i arrived home from work. bertie and i caught the n judah from ninth and found our way down to the castro. the fog had cascaded through the hills of san francisco and now rested in the nooks and streets of the city. we were on our way to sam beam of iron and wine. i have often described my last experience with iron and wine as the best show i have ever been to. coming off his release with calexico, he split the stage and shared time with calexico. his voice remains etched in my mind.

i was not sure what to expect last night. a whole band? just sam? what songs? bertram asked me what i would love to see him play and i honestly did not care. it seems no matter what he would play, we would be satsified. as we walked up the stairs into the swedish american music hall, we found ourselves in a quaint hall, with wood patterned panels along the walls. it could only fit maybe fifty or so people. this must be something special. i think we both knew, but we didn't speak a word of it.

there was only one chair on stage after the first band. the room glowed red as the lights lowered on the dark wood of the floors and walls. sam walked to the stage with cheers and clapping that faded into a deep silence as he began. he was so genuinely appreciative of the crowd and said thank you with a warmth that must be from the south.   

weeks before, the audience had voted on the set list for the night and sam laughed at what once seemed like a good idea. each song he played felt too short. sam's voice would fade into the room and as each song passed over, you hoped that it wouldn't end. he had a charm that is seen in the american folklore and imagery of each of his songs. he would laugh when he missed a note. completely unashamed, the mistakes did not hamper his performance but added to the intimacy of the night. it was like your best friend playing a collection of his favorite songs. the ones everyone knows. sam beam's voice never strains. it whispers, but yet he is never short of power. the crowd would trade jokes and requests with sam, but no one said a word while he played. when you watch someone who may become one of our generation's greatest songwriters, you hold your breath and exhale in between songs. 

 

gordon brown

writes a fine piece on mr. obama's first 100 days.

this is so cool

dedication to the cause

can we get on this already?

seriously.

looks like the recession is taking a shot at hip hop

uh oh

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/01/29/hiphop.bling.recession/

should i feel bad that lil jon isn't going to make $80k a track?

in review

what went wrong at the grammys:

kid rock is now relevant and political? and a rock and roll jesus? bertram was so pained he left the room.

jonas brothers do not know the words to stevie wonder's song. it is not nice to creep up behind a blind man.

u2 was unbearably painful. it could have been the awful screen behind them. but i kept hearing people ask, "how old is bono?"

what went right at the grammys:

swagga like us

radiohead

honorable mention:

dave grohl and paul mccartney

that girl that shredded in carrie underwood's band

faith

"faith is an ascent to truth, rooted in deep knowledge."

my pastor used this as his definition of faith on sunday. he told a story of a lunch he had with a lawyer who adamantly blurted out, "you cannot prove that god exists".

scott replied, "no i cannot prove that god exists. i also cannot prove to you that quantum mechanics exist either. i cannot understand how what i observe is actually quite different from the fundamental reality. but maybe with enough careful and dilligent investigation, i may uncover the reality of quantum mechanics. i have found belief in god functions in the same manner. with enough dilligent investigation, i have discovered truth."

i was intrigued by his story and definition of faith. is this how we accept our belief in god? in the story of the gospel? i'm not so sure. i may have butchered his story due to my lack of understanding of quantum mechanics, but i think i conveyed the idea. 

tomorrow will be such a brighter day

i was reading an article in the economist about the past eight years of president bush's administration when i was suddenly reminded that in less then twenty four hours, he will no longer be making any presidential decisions. i smiled a bit. tomorrow will be such a brighter day.

http://www.economist.com/world/unitedstates/displayStory.cfm?story_id=12931660

riley

riley turned seven on december 27. as you can see he is still very lionlike, but he still refuses to kiss me.